What do you do when you have no clue of what to do?  An age old question with many good attempts at answering.  I have found myself with this question constantly being played over and over across the tracks of my finite mind and I still come up with the same answer…NOTHING!!!  Nothingness is a vast expanse of space, a dark hole of silence, a quite place not of solitude, like when Jesus went up into the mountain to pray, no …just the opposite…it’s a place void of answers, of God’s voice, and even the silence of His word.  Nothing…when you have no clue what to do, do nothing.  It sounds boring, lacks adventure, and screams of apathy but it’s not.  It’s actually the greatest form of trust you can have in an almighty God.  Standing still. Unable to see where you are going, knowing why, or when but still worshiping everyday,  loving people and Christ everyday.  I don’t know when, how, or why but as for right now I will just do nothing, I will stand still and wait.  That’s the only thing I can find to do in His word…Be still and know, know what?  That He is God and sometimes that has just got to be enough.  Today I will trust not at His moving but in the silence.  He knows what He is doing…and what seems like NOTHING to me is SOMETHING to Him.  God I trust you.  So I will be content in NOTHINGNESS!!!

I think it’s safe to say that I’m not the only one who enjoys sitting back away from the altar from time to time. It’s neither because I’m choosing to be less spiritual on one night than I am on the others, nor because I don’t want to. For me, it’s more of a time of watching, of listening, and of understanding. Granted, it’s not good to do every time there is an altar call, because I do believe a visit to the altar is necessary every now and then.
I’m not talking about just staying in your seat because you don’t feel like getting up or don’t feel like praying. But you know there are those times where you just feel at ease in the presence of God, still praying, but don’t really feel the need to make your way to the altar. You know, those times where you put your head down in your hands or on the back of the seat in front of you…those times where you may rest your head on your chin atop folded hands and reflect on God…those times where all you do is just get on your knees. Those are the times I’m talking about.
I have realized that those are my favorite times. Yes, I’ve shouted, twirled, danced, and spazzed out like a crazy person…but when I find that place where it’s just me and God…sitting together in silence or just telling each other how much we love each other…it’s the best place in the world. I get so easily distracted when I go to the altar, so amazed by what’s going on around me that I forget to focus on what God wants to tell ME.
But an interruption to that thought occurs…I also LOVE to sit back and watch the altar. There is nothing more beautiful to me than to watch our leaders worship their God…to see my friends’ faces and expressions as they worship Him…but what intrigues me the most is to watch each and every one of our worship leaders live out what they sing about. Maybe that’s because I am a worship leader as well, and everything that comes with that fascinates me.

My heart is pulled into a million directions when I watch the altar. There are those loved ones who are crying out in desperation for God, wanting so badly for a touch from Him and releasing everything they’ve been holding in out in one loud cry. A crease forms between their eyebrows in frustration and determination and their hands reach up to the sky as if reaching for the outstretched arms of Christ. As my heart cries for them, it is also drawn to those loved ones who are shouting out of joy, twirling and dancing for the Lord without any cares. Silly smiles are pinned on their faces and their eyes are closed as they just rejoice in the glory of God. As it cries for the desperate, my heart also rejoices with the joyful. As my heart cries and rejoices with them, it also becomes silent and saddened for those loved ones who are patiently sitting at the steps of the altar, eyes closed, silent tears falling down their cheeks as everyone else shouts and dances around them. With that, my heart is completely broken.
Thinking on that, one word comes to mind. Vulnerability.

Vulnerable – open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc; capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt

Whether it’s because we are happy, joyful, defeated, frustrated, upset, mad, numb, excited, determined, understanding, broken, etc.it all equals one thing. When we go to the altar and stand before the Lord, we become vulnerable. We open ourselves up to whatever is going on in the spiritual realm. We empty ourselves of flesh to where we are completely exposed so the Lord can come in and fill us up. If I want Him to consume all of me, I have to completely empty myself of “me” and have faith that He will fill me. I suppose being vulnerable and being in a state of brokenness go hand-in-hand. Does that make any sense?
To me, vulnerability is the most important thing to show as a leader, or better yet, as a disciple in general. I know you have to be strong…but isn’t it important to show those you’re discipling that you’re just as much human as they are?
To be vulnerable is to relate to those who are seeking refuge; to those you’re leading. When they see you unafraid of being broken and showing your true emotions before the Lord, they realize you’re still human.
I don’t know if I’m making any sense. All I know is the affect it has on me when I see the people I admire, respect, and hope to gain characteristics of display their emotions before the Lord…when they let their guard down to those who may be watching…when they get to that place where it doesn’t matter who is watching.
Vulnerability.

Kellie Fuselier is a student and worship leader @ the Pentecostals of Alexandria she is 20 years old and currently a sophomore at Louisiana College majoring in Social Work
She comes from a family of believers she has a twin sister, a brother & a sister-in-law, her parents are still together, her mother attends the POA, her sister is a passionate worship leader on piano/keyboard, her dad’s passion is teaching the Word especially in Sunday school. Kellie’s passions are one-on-one ministry with teenage girls, worship leading, songwriting, truly getting to know someone on a heart level. Her goals are to become a worship leader with a deeper level of understanding of God, to work with teenage girls, and with my degree in plan on working in the school system as a crisis intervention social worker/guidance counselor (preferably high school age)

Inverted Christianity now that is a new word.   I have been reading this morning and came across this word that stopped me dead in my tracks or actually I was using the restroom so dead in my…. well you get the   picture.   The meaning of this concept described by the author is instead of allowing ourselves the adventure of following the Holy Spirit we invite the Holy Spirit to follow us.  I consider this analogy with great awareness and guilt why?  Because I am guilty.   I too many times have charted the course of my life and ministry and then ask God to anoint it or bless it.  I guess because it is safer, makes more sense sometimes, and keeps the criticism to a bare minimum but who am I fooling,  there are certain places that I want to lead that the Holy Spirit just will not follow me into…and then I want to cry God where are you and why have you abandoned me.   I guess the message that I am trying to convey is I have wasted to many years, months, days, and hours on being a B-O-R-I-N-G tour guide.  I am to the point where God must lead without me constantly asking Him if He is lost and where we are going.  God doesn’t need my Gramen GPS system to figure it out.  It is my human nature to want to know where, when, and how …and that is just not in His plan.  I am tired of the daily grind being more exalted in life instead of where God is taking me.  I am tired of inviting the Holy Spirit to join me it is time for me to truly follow Him.  If I am ever to become a true disciple I have to go back to the scripture and ponder the words of Jesus when He invited the first disciples, of coarse they didn’t know it yet, to join Him. He didn’t ask for resumes, a job application, where they were born, or who’s your daddy, He simply said “FOLLOW ME” that’s it in essence He was saying, doesn’t matter where you have been, who you are, or where you are going it’s not about you anyway.  Can you imagine the criticism, ridicule, and talk from friends and family that these three men endured for leaving the family practice and job security to go after this man called Jesus.  But true world changers, influencers, and revolutionary people have always taken the risk others thought insane.  I say I am risky and trust in God to lead when in all actuality I am only inviting God to follow me.  My goal for this upcoming year is a transformation of the way I live life… I am tired of the dried up, boring way I do worship, church, and life.   I refuse the inverted Christian lifestyle I have allowed myself to live…. I want to follow Him with almost reckless abandon and see how much adventure, fun, and excitement I can handle.  Join me!!! It has got to be way better than Him following me…He must be bored out of His mind.   Wow this has been the best “potty” break in a while.  I guess I am just tired of my same old CRAP!!!

Tim

He who dies with the most toys… still dies. -unknown-

There is nothing that distracts Americans more than stuff.  We live in the land of stuff.  Never before has a people had more stuff than we do, and there is nothing that competes with Jesus more than stuff.
Stuff is the anti eternity.  Stuff is instant, it is now, it is touchable, tangible, controllable, and own able.
We learn about stuff at a very young age.  People start getting stuff as soon as their little, dimpled hands can clutch something and it doesn’t stop until their hands no longer have the strength to clutch.

They have wills written so that other people will know what to do with their stuff.
This has to be done or else the people who are left behind will fight over this stuff.

Moms and Dads watch their children’s eyes closely to see what stuff makes them smile and do their very best to put that stuff within reach starting the first rules of the “Game of Stuff”.

“Reach and grab until you die.”

Some people have one pocket in their shirts to put stuff in but others have four because they need to put more stuff in them.

Pants have pockets to hold stuff also because some stuff has to be close to us at all times.

Most women have purses so they can carry stuff with them.  Even some guys have begun to carry purses for their stuff.

Cars have glove boxes so they can hold stuff and trunks are much bigger and hold much more stuff.

Suite cases are getting larger and sturdier so that they can hold more stuff.  Airlines have to impose weight limits on stuff, or the planes would never get off of the ground because of all the stuff we would take.  We have to take as much stuff with us as we can before we feel comfortable leaving our homes behind that hold all of our big stuff.

Even as children we get so much stuff that by the time we get ready to start our own separate stuff pile we have to leave some of our stuff with our moms and dads.

We first get a small box to put our stuff in but as we get more stuff we need a bigger box to put stuff in and so we build a bigger one and then a bigger one.  These boxes are called houses and some boxes are bigger and better than others but they are just boxes to hold stuff.

These boxes have doors and windows that lock.  Why?  Because there are actually people who want our stuff and will steal it.

They don’t ever steal our junky stuff but always take our new, shiny or electronic stuff.  This leads to a business called security and a field of medicine called psychiatry to keep unwanted people out and to get other people’s heads straight that worry about things like that too much.

Some people don’t have enough stuff so they actually go to other people’s houses and buy some of their stuff in garage sales.  They get so much stuff that they need more closets and shelves to hold all their stuff.  They put stuff in basements, stuff in attics, stuff under stair s and stuff in drawers.

There is actually a booming industry based on the idea that people have too much stuff called “storage.”  Big hollow boxes with locks to hold stuff that people just can’t seem to let go of.

People have stuff that has absolutely no value to them but they know that someone else covets it so they keep it with the intention of trading it for other stuff that they covet later.

At first garages were to park the family car in but now they just mostly hold stuff.

Boxes get bigger and the stuff continues to pile up.

Do you know that stuff even gets old or that there is a term applied to stuff called “out of style?”
This is stuff that works fine, but it has become the wrong color or shape.  We get bored with20this stuff and so they have businesses that will take that kind of stuff and give it to people that don’t have much stuff like Goodwill and Salvation Army.

Stuff that people finally thinks has absolutely no use to anyone gets put in a stuff graveyard called a dump.

Would you believe that even there you can find people, who have a lot of stuff already, digging around for more stuff?  A kind of stuff reincarnation.

People dig in the earth for stuff.  They drill holes hoping that they hit a hidden pocket of black stuff down there so they can translate it into other stuff up here.  Stuff can also be found on the bottom of the ocean and so you find people who risk their lives to go down there hunting it.

There are different seasons for stuff.  Some stuff can’t be legally used until certain times of the year.  So it sits in storage until that stuff can be used for a few short months.  People practice with this stuff a lot and talk about it a lot but most of the time this expensive stuff just sits unused.  Stuff to hunt with, stuff to fish with, stuff to be on the water with, stuff to fall down in the snow with, stuff to hit, stuff to catch, stuff to swing, and stuff to throw.

It has been said “Americans have lost their souls so now they are trying to save their bodies.”  Exercise stuff, diet stuff, tanning stuff, curling stuff, tucking stuff and lifting stuff.

Christians like stuff as much as sinners do.  They call it, “Blessing.”

They have stuff in storages and stuff in closets.  Stuff in basements and stuff in attics.  Then they go to church and sing, “This world is not my home, I’m just a passing through.”

They bow down at the altar with all sincerity and ask God for more stuff.  “Bless me Lord.”  When they lose some of their stuff, they think God is mad at them,  “Why did you take my stuff?”  “Please show me that you aren’t mad at me… by giving me more stuff.”

We honor the ones with the most stuff, and we pity the ones with the least amount of stuff.

And then we get to the stuff season, (This is it) Christmas… Jesus used to be the reason for the season, but Santa Claus brings the stuff f, so … “Santa’s the man!”
We wildly dive into the pursuit for “Holiday” stuff.  Stuff in stockings, stuff to wrap, stuff to eat, and stuff to decorate with.  Admittedly fun stuff, I personally love this stuff… but stuff can’t crowd out Jesus… stuff isn’t the reason for the season, is it?

I wonder what it is going to be like when the Archangel blows his trumpet.  Is there going to be a groan from the American church, “So soon?  Now what will we do with all of our stuff?”

I wonder if Peter and a crew of angels with hammers and chisels, squeegees and scrapers are going to be ready for us?

I don’t want to walk through the gates of pearl and hear the angels say, “Can you believe that they have names for all this stuff that is caked on them?  Yuk!  What a mess some of these saints are.  Do they know that they can’t take this stuff with them into heaven?”

A question begged to be asked.

Do Christians think like they act that God is going to hand out rewards to the guy with the most stuff?  I know it is called “blessing” down here, but is stuff always a blessing by heaven’s way of seeing things?

Do some think they are going to walk up to the throne with a great sense of accomplishment and point back to a burning world and say, “Lord did you see all of my stuff before you burned it?”

God might say, “Yes I did.  To whom much is given much is required.”
It is so easy to let stuff distract us…

Jeff was born in Vancouver, British Columbia in 1967, from there his parents moved the family to the Philippines  and became passionate missionaries to the Philippino people.   Since then Jeff and his family have resided all over the country and the world.   In 1988 married his wife Brenda and they have 3 great children 2 boys Morgan, Jordan, and a daughter Kori.   Jeff and his family pioneered a church in Hawaii and it is now flourishing with growth.  The Mallory’s currently reside in Alexandria, Louisiana where they currently minister at the POA and travel ministering on a regular basis.  In February of 2009 they will return back to the Philippines as missionaries to the wonderful, hungry, Philippine people.

When a hermit crab looses its shell, is it naked or homeless?

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What if?

Matt. 5:48- “ In a word, what I’m saying is, GROW UP. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.” MSG Bible

Society is a masked ball, where everyone hides his own character, and reveals it by hiding.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I know it probably sounds all philosophical, but I thought it was appropriate.  Personally I believe that we all wear masks and not the ones made of paper or plastic or rubber.
They are facades we hold up in front of ourselves to project an image to others; sometimes meant to exaggerate, sometimes meant to deceive.

In many ways, we hold them up not only to others, but to ourselves as well, wanting to convince ourselves that we are something more, or less, than we really are.  It is because there are things about ourselves that we do not want to face, flaws we’re afraid to admit, so we conceal them behind the image we try to project.

The most honest people, to ones who don’t wear their masks so much, are at the same time the strongest and the most vulnerable.  They expose themselves to the world, willing to take the bad with the good, but this leaves them with their defenses down.

For this reason, masks can actually be useful.  If you create one for yourself, and you armor it thick enough that even you believe it is the real you, it can shield you from a lot of things you do not want to be exposed to. But it also keeps in parts of yourself; It is impossible to block all the pain without sacrificing some of the pleasure, because they sometimes go hand in hand, the pleasure is possible only through the satisfaction of having endured some personal trial, however difficult.

What we show to the world, and to ourselves, can be very different from what we really are.  When you get through the facades to the real person underneath, you find all the best, and all the worst in a person.
You have to be willing to take the good with the bad, and the bad with the good. One without the other is meaningless.  I guess the point is, if you choose to wear a mask, don’t forget that you have it on.

Don’t let yourself come to believe in it so much that you forget whom you really are underneath.  And you have to be willing to take it off when the time is right, and show the world, and yourself, just what is underneath.

“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. …You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask.”
- Jim Morrison the Doors